This is the sixth installment of interviews with the Crew members of Simpatico Studios. The interviews were conducted by Veronica Mattaboni, your kindly narrator and interviewer.
Braxton Kocher, Senior Account Planner/Producer
Braxton sits on the couch in the conference room, relaxing as he does his work. Though he was quite busy on this day, he made time for me and this interview in his jam-packed schedule. He kicks off the conversation by asking me if I know anything about how angler fish reproduce, so I can tell it’s gonna be a good one.
VM: How would you define the Braxton Brand™?
BK: If I had to define the Braxton brand, I’d say that it’s slightly edgy, but not enough to be an edgelord. We moved away from edgelord a while ago. Now I’m trying to have fun, but also trying to work hard and live my life with as many dogs around me as possible.
He then went on to describe several amazing dogs in his life, including his lovable mutt, Shadow, Simpatico’s own Tucker, and his parent’s new puppy.
VM: What are some things that are characteristically you?
BK: So, a couple things: pop punk music and emo music, because they try to be edgier than they actually are. I feel like cheese is characteristically me because I make a lot of cheesy jokes and eat as much as of it I can. As much as I hate to admit it, I think cats are as well because if they were D&D characters, they would be rogues and I am always a rogue. In fact, once I was a cat-rogue and it was great.
VM: What’s your favorite song right now?
BK: See, now we’re getting to the hard questions, because I could go on for hours about my favorite songs. If I had to pick one for right now, it’d be Dendron by Hotelier. I’ve just been listening to it a ton lately.
VM: Do you consider yourself a good gift giver and what was the last gift you got someone?
BK: Absolutely not. I am terrible at giving gifts. It’s not because I want to be bad or feel people don’t deserve gifts—I just usually forget. I did take my little brother to The Hunchback of Notre Dame in Lancaster City for his birthday recently, which is his favorite musical. So that was nice.
VM: If you could teach a class on literally anything, what would it be and why?
BK: To be completely honest, I would teach how to be an adult. I found growing up that I had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. It was very easy stuff that any of the adults in my life could have taught me but never really did, and I think it could be useful for other young adults.
We then compare the gaps in our knowledge of real-world skills necessary to being a functioning adult that have conveniently been left out of our education, like doing taxes or changing a tire.
VM: What’s your all-time favorite tv show?
BK: See, this is one that depends on era. I’m gonna go with a tie between the anime The Devil is a Part-Timer (about the devil working at a knock-off McDonalds) and Digimon.
VM: Describe one good thing that happened recently.
BK: My parents got a puppy and that’s really exciting. My dog Abby of 13 years died in April, and Shadow has been terribly lonely and sad. I think it will be a really good thing to have another puppy in the house. I want Shadow to be happy.
VM: What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever made with your hands?
BK: One summer, my grandfather wanted to build this waterfall that led into a short stream which fed into a small pond. Nothing crazy, but still large enough to be complicated. It was grueling work; the rocks were heavy and the tarp was stupid, but it’s still standing today and it’s so beautiful. I’m really proud of it.
VM: If you had to pick a new name for yourself what would it be?
BK: I wish that I was scandinavian, because I think Celtic names are really cool. So probably something that is Celtic or Gaelic. I know that’s vague, but to be honest, I can’t think of any off the top of my head.
VM: Tell me something I don’t know!
BK: Snickers. So let me tell you about angler fish. Hear me out.
Braxton then went on to scar me for life by describing the horrible process by which angler fish reproduce.
VM: Why did you do that to me.
BK: I regret nothing.
(Real life footage of an actual dinosaur)